Top 10 Horrible Names To Give Your Baby

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Top 10 Horrible Names To Give Your Baby

 

When I was pregnant and we were thinking of baby names, I was reading tips on how to pick a baby’s name. While reading, I also stumbled onto another site that tells you what not to name your baby. That led me to google bad baby names and the lists that I found were hilarious.

My friends and I were just discussing bad baby names the other day and I thought it would be such a laugh to share it with you. If you’re currently pregnant (or will be in the future) and thinking of naming your kid one of the following, please don’t. For God (and your kid)’s sake, don’t! And you’re welcome.

#1: Names that sound nice but really aren’t

Names like Desdemona (which means devil) and Jezebel (a character known to lack morality) are infamous what-not-to-call-your-kid names for their negative connotations.

Here’s a true Singapore story that I heard from my lawyer friend RTS who swore he was telling the truth. He said he had ever handled a case where the couple was going through a bitter divorce so they named their twins ‘Disaster’ and ‘Calamity’. They might as well have named them Desdemona and Jezebel, which at least sounds nicer. I can just imagine her mother going, “Come here Disaster! You remind me daily of the pure crap I had to go through because of your dumbass father!”

Disaster has my sympathy (so does Calamity).

#2: Names that are too good to be true

Haven’t you heard of the saying, “If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t”?

Imagine the irony when ‘Pure’ does something not so pure. Or the kind of nasty jokes her friends make at her, “Isn’t this Pure crap!” *cue evil laughter* I’m of course also assuming these are names of girls. I shudder to think if any of it belongs to a boy, stereotypical or not.

I can just picture it in my mind… “I, Princess Heart, take you, Prince Spade, to be my lawfully wedded husband…”

Not a good idea to name your kid after a preschool song either. Sounds real cute when she is a baby but can you imagine her grand kids calling her Grandma Twinkle Star? Didn’t think so.

“Yo Golden, whatsup!” does have a nice ring to it. Not.

#3: Names that do not fit with their siblings

I read a true story of a couple who had triplets. The girls were called ‘Faith’, ‘Hope’ and… wait for it… ‘Ashley’. Yup, and you wonder why Ashley thought she was adopted.

Also another true story was from a mother who warned everyone else to please consider carefully before naming your kids. Her youngest daughter is ‘Ella’ while her eldest son is ‘Sam’. Very ordinary don’t you think? Until she started calling out to them together. “Sam and Ella!!” sounds suspiciously like… yup you got it… the food-poisoning inducing batteria.

#4: Names that sound like something else

My nurse friend J said recently a ‘Benis’ checked into the nursery a few days ago. Erm… seriously?

And I don’t think I would be happy to meet a nurse called ‘Constance Payne’, which was the real name of a nurse in America.

Also, I don’t know if it was on purpose or not, but ‘Barb Dwyer’ and ‘Stan Still’ sure had to endure lots of teasing from ruthless classmates at school.

#5: Names that are impossible to pronounce correctly

Names like ‘Siobhan’ (pronounced ‘sher-bonne‘) and ‘Isla’ (pronounced ‘eye-ler’) will never get pronounced correctly in our Asian society.

My hubby wanted to name our kid ‘Siobhan’ (after the American Idol finalist) but I was against it because nurses at the hospital would probably pronounce it as ‘Seoh-bhan‘ (can you blame them?) which sounds like roast meat in Hokkien. Let’s face it, we have all met a nurse at the hospital who can’t pronounce our names right. No way do you wanna make the situation worse.

#6: Names that, together with the surname, form very bad initials

You don’t want to be so happy with the name ‘Irene Lillian’ that you forgot your surname is Li, which makes your child’s initials to be I.L.L. Not good. Similarly, if your surname is Sim, please don’t call your child ‘Alison Sim Sulin’ or ‘Aiden Samuel Sim’. I think you get why. Aiden’s badge (with his initials) on his army uniform when he serves his national service would be very interesting indeed.

#7: Names that are also a verb

If I can use the word as an action, probably not a good idea to give that as a name for your kid.

Whatever possessed their parents to name them the above is beyond me.

#8: Names that are also a place

To name your child after a road name is still somewhat acceptable, after all most roads are named after actual people. But I have to draw the line at naming your kid these names:

‘Ocean Sun’? Seriously?!

#9: Celebrity Names/nicknames

Even if you’re her biggest fan, it doesn’t mean your girl is. That is, assuming you are not naming her after an adjective, which is even worse.

Also, giving your kid a footballer’s last name is lame! Today they are superstars, tomorrow they suck. What happens then? Your kid has to stick with his sucky footballer name forever!

#10: Names that are just plain weird!

I know you don’t wanna go with common names like ‘Jayden’ but you don’t wanna go with a name that is so out of this world that is just plain weird.

“Yo Ninja, how ya doing?”

“I’m fine Chemical Element, how about you, female version of Richie?”

“Oh I just kissed Maximus!”

Ok I take it all back. With names like these, weird, is an understatement.

P.S. If your name happened to be one of these, my condolences. If you’re sick and tired of all the jokes, RTS can hook you up with a good lawyer to change it. If you are the parent who named your kid any one of these, well, you should be responsible for your kid’s lawyer fees. Just saying

UPDATE: Turns out there is a whole blog just dedicated to bad baby names! Go check it out =)

Blog Source: Mad Psych Mum

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