The first three months
Babies are born ready to communicate and interact with adults. Although to you he may only look like a crying, sleeping, pooping machine, your baby also comes equipped with the ability to communicate feelings and needs through gestures and expressions. Your positive response to these actions will help your confidence in each other to grow. These first “conversations” are an important part of your baby’s emotional and social development.
In the first four weeks, don’t be anxious if your baby prefers to be quiet and calm, especially if he is born prematurely. He could be trying to deal with the sudden onrush of stimulation and the trauma of birth. Speaking or singing to him softly and holding him upright will be extremely comforting as will be caressing, stroking, kissing and gentle massages. Touch is an especially important method of communicating with your baby. Your baby may even make little “ah” noises when he sees your face or hears your voice. It also helps to be sensitive to the factors that agitate your baby.
At four to six weeks, be ready to capture your baby’s first real smile in response to your face and voice–a penetrating, disarming toothless grin that has nothing to do with reflexes or the satisfaction of passing gas. Your baby will also start making non-crying noises more regularly at this time, especially noises associated with contentment like cooing and gurgling. From six weeks onwards, your baby will respond more actively to play and bath time, waving his arms, kicking his legs as well as squealing more readily when tickled. He will also enjoy listening to your voice and holding your gaze for longer periods of time.
By week twelve, your child will be reacting quickly to all sorts of stimuli such as a mirror image and the voices of other adults. He may stop sucking his thumb or bottle to listen to or watch these stimuli.
Three to six months
At this stage, music can have a profound impact on your child. Apart from singing your own songs and nursery rhymes, you could also invest in children songs CDs by singers like Raffi, Linda Rondstadt or Peter, Paul and Mary. As babies are open to anything, don’t restrict your child’s options–babies have been known to enjoy music as diverse as African tribal music, Russian opera, pop and The Platters. The more varied the choices, the richer the impact on your child’s love for music. As he grows, your child will begin to develop his preferences.
Apart from music, your child will also become more socially aware at four to five months, beginning to sort out who’s who in his life and showing a preference for some people over others. Therefore, allow for some transition time if you are leaving him with a babysitter or caregiver.
It will be a great treat and a social boost for him at this stage to join in during family mealtimes. He may even eat more as a result of watching you eat together. And while newborns cannot make connections between their feelings and their surroundings, your five-month-old may laugh at funny expressions, express displeasure at having his toys removed and show a strong attachment to you by raising his arms to be carried. He may also give you hugs and kisses!
Towards six months, your baby will have more control over his movements, and enjoy playing with objects he can hold such as a rattle or soft toy. He will enjoy kicking, bashing, grasping and chewing objects. This is the perfect time to introduce objects of different sizes and textures such as rubber balls, plastic spoons and wooden blocks. He will also enjoy playing with squashy toys and board books; do consider investing in some water-proof versions for bath time.
Six to nine months
This is a good time to begin teaching sounds and turn-taking, allowing your baby to be the leader with you mimicking his vocalizations. When it is your turn to lead, teach your child animal noises like quack, bow-wow, moo, meow and so on.
Your child will also begin to recognize objects and what they stand for such as a bib for food or a rubber duck for bath time. However, you may have to keep reminding him that a telephone is not a toy or not to throw his toys at you. This is when your baby may start testing authority–not as a sign of wilfulness, but from sheer curiosity to see how you will react. It is therefore, a good time to start using a short but firm “no”.
By month eight, he may start recognizing phrases like “Daddy’s home” or “lunch time” and start throwing kisses at people he likes. He may even repeat actions if applauded and use social skills like waving goodbye.
As these social skills improve it will be a good opportunity to introduce your child to a playgroup. Watch out however for signs of separation anxiety, which is known to begin around this age. He may become extra clingy or upset when you are out of sight. Let your baby know that you will be back when you leave him and return soon to develop his trust in you. But do not be tempted to linger constantly by his side as brief periods of anxiety may actually help him to cope better without you as he grows.
Nine to twelve months
By nine months, your baby is ready to explore the world, either by crawling or shuffling his bottom. Some babies may even begin walking at this age. However, Tessa Hilton, in the Great Ormond Street New Baby and Child Care Book, stresses that all babies develop at their own rate and it is not possible to speed up your baby’s physical development. Early crawling, standing or walking is not linked to intellectual development, she says.
This is an ideal time to improve your child’s verbal word recognition skills by using simple words instead of long sentences. For example, saying “spoon” instead of “here’s your spoon, let’s put it in your hand” can help your child to identify and name objects more easily.
At this age, your child may be able to repeat some words from nursery rhymes or songs so it’s a good idea to start expanding your music collection. Children of this age may also enjoy being read to at bedtime, using simple board books.
Your child now likes predictability and any travel disturbs his routine. Arm yourself with loads of engaging books and toys if embarking on a long journey and don’t forget to bring more than one pacifier if your baby uses one, for pacifiers have an uncanny ability to vanish when you need them most. More disturbing news: it is also natural for ten and eleven-month-olds to begin resisting the confines of a stroller or car seat!
Towards twelve months, your baby may start feeling fear towards sounds or objects that weren’t frightening to him before. These feelings are healthy as a baby’s knowledge of his surroundings starts to expand. Don’t ignore these fears but don’t hover over him either. Comfort and reassure him that you are near and that he is fine.
The twelfth month
Around his first birthday, your child will be reasonably armed with sufficient social and emotional skills to relish being on the move, using newfound words and charming his audience, especially you.
It’s important to ensure that physical or mental growth is not ignored. Give him plenty of opportunities to exercise. Going to the park or swimming pool is a good way to tire out an active toddler. Make full use of spongy play areas and equipment to encourage physical development.
Going for a walk around the neighbourhood or grocery shopping are also excellent ways to capture your baby’s attention. Talk to your child as you walk or shop, bringing his attention to unfamiliar sights and sounds and explaining what they mean. It is also never too early to promote two-way communication by reading together or discussing the day’s activities. Doing this ensures that you are no longer just the reader or speaker and he the listener.
Take things easy, let your child develop at his own pace and watch his remarkable journey of discovery unfold!
