Traveling Parents

At three years of age, children have already started forming their own identity that is separate from their bond with you, their parents. By this time, they have also developed considerable skills in coping with being separated from you for brief periods of time. In fact, research indicates that brief separations between parent and child can be beneficial for the child’s development.  Going through the process of separation, loss and reunion can help a child see that he or she is capable of functioning independently. This, in turn, boosts self-confidence.

However, it is important to handle the separation period with care since some children may find it very traumatic. Naturally sensitive children are more at risk of developing long-term adverse effects from frequent separations. In effect, their behavior and emotional state should be monitored carefully during this time as well as afterward. Some children behave unnaturally well while in the care of an au pair or family member, and then release all their pent-up frustration and emotion when their parents return. This is a normal process and will even out in a few days or weeks.

Here are some things you can do to make going away easier for your three-year-old:

• If you have a career that necessitates travel, make sure that your child is familiar with this arrangement and, ideally, should have developed an attachment to other caregivers (either family members or an au pair). Coping will become easier for your child if he or she knows well the person who takes care of him or her.
• Don’t make any significant change in your child’s life immediately prior to your trip. Such is not the time to take away your kid’s security blanket or else enroll him or her to a new daycare facility.
• Leave an item like a scarf, t-shirt or even a pair of your socks in your child’s care. Your child can cuddle with it before he or she falls asleep and carry it around while you are gone.
• Make a chart on which your child can mark off the days you’ll be gone. Place a big star on the day you’ll be returning to give your kids something to look forward to.
• Organize visits from other friends and family members while you are gone.                                                                                                           

There is nothing quite like the reunion when you return home after a trip. Enjoy being with your child but don’t be offended if he or she acts a bit cold towards you. Your child needs to readjust to having you home and will soon be his or her old lovable self again.