Sharing Is Hard!

Most parents have witnessed this scenario:  During a play date, your child is playing with a certain toy and another child wants to play with it too.  Does your child hold the toy tightly and turn her body as she says “NO”?  How do you react?  At that moment, you should remind her that it is important to share, but being reactive will be less effective than taking the time, before a play date, to discuss why we share, how we share and your expectations of sharing. 

Get down to your child’s level because sitting or kneeling on the ground to talk will make your toddler feel more secure. You also need to establish good eye contact.  It’s important to prepare your child that she is going to have some friends over for a play date and that her friends will want to play with her toys.  Let her know that you would like her to share her toys with the friends and that she need not worry because her friends will not keep her toys.  It is a good idea to keep repeating all of these facts to your child so she is well prepared for the play date. This way, if a similar episode occurs again, you can remind her of your conversation and encourage good sharing skills again.

Remember, sharing is not yet a natural concept for your 2 year old so using phrases such as “wait your turn” and “ask before you take” over and over again is helpful in prompting your child before she acts impulsively.  You may also give your child the words to use while playing with her friends.  Simple words and phrases such as “my turn,” “your turn,” “may I play,” “thank you” are easy to say and direct to the point.

When your child does say one of these phrases either independently or prompted, praise her and make a big deal out of it so she will most likely do it again!