I came across this article in Yahoo! regarding the 7 Things You Should Never Say To Your Toddlers. That night, Faye dropped me a FB message telling me about this article too. So I guess, kailangan ko ngang basahin.
After reading, I realized, wala na pala akong pwedeng masabi kay Anika ano? Lol.
In case you haven’t read it, I’m re-posting the article here now with some of my comments (in Italics).
7 Things You Should Never Say To Your Toddlers
By Monica Bielanko
NUMBER 1: Stop Crying!
Toddlers have trouble articulating their feelings. Your crying toddler might be sad, they might be scared, and they might be pissed you turned off their cartoon. Either way, they’re expressing their emotions. As CNN reports, Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., and childhood expert says that telling a child to stop crying “can send the message that his emotions aren’t valid — that it’s not okay to be sad or scared.”
Mommy Fleur — I didn’t realize that this is bad but upon reading, it make sense nga. Although, I don’t tell Anika naman to stop crying. When she cries, I always tell her, “It’s okay baby. Nanay’s here.”. Funny because when we were having our tea time in Acacia Hotel, she heard and saw a baby crying. She said to the little baby, “It’s okay. Don’t cry. I’m here.”. Sweet! =)
NUMBER 2: Hurry Up!
This is another one from CNN’s excellent list of 9 Things You Shouldn’t Say To Your Child. We’ve all been there. Rushing around in the morning trying to get kids bathed and dressed and ready to go. Or leaving the grocery store while a little one lags behind. But nagging your child to “hurry up” can backfire. According to CNN, “There’s a tendency when we’re rushed to make our kids feel guilty for making us rush. The guilt may make them feel bad, but it doesn’t motivate them to move faster.”
Mommy Fleur — I don’t tell her “Hurry Up!” kasi mas excited pa sa akin ang anak ko. I tell her, “Let’s go Anika! Time to go!”. I hope that’s okay.
NUMBER 3: You’re So..
According to CNN, “Labels are shortcuts that shortchange kids: ‘Why are you so mean to Katie?’ Or ‘How could you be such a klutz?’ Young children believe what they hear without question, even when it’s about themselves. So negative labels can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Mommy Fleur — This is the maybe reason why my mother-in-law always tells Anika, “Ang bait-bait naman ng apo ko.” and “Wow! Ang sweet sweet naman ng apo ko!”. They absorb it pala. I will be sensitive about this from now on. I’m guilty kasi of commenting (to ALVIN), “Tingnan mo yang anak mo, ang sungit sungit sa akin.”. Bad pala yun. Also I’ll tell Girlie to stop telling Anika na ang arte-arte niya (kahit totoo naman!) lol!
NUMBER 4: Leave Me Alone!
I’m definitely guilty of saying to my kids when trying to get things done. But, as Dr. Suzette Haden Elgin tells CNN, kids can really internalize this and you may set up a pattern where they feel like they’re a bother to you and maybe even be less inclined to tell you things as they get older.
Mommy Fleur — Ay sorry. I have never said this to Anika and I don’t have plans of doing so.
NUMBER 5: Don’t Touch This!
I found this tip on Austin Mom’s Blog and really liked it because it’s true. Tell a small toddler not to touch something and I’ll be damned if he doesn’t head right for that thing the second your back is turned.
Mommy Fleur — I think this has the same principle as not saying NO! to kids. Faye taught me this. Instead of saying No!, you should explain why they could touch something or do something. For example, when Anika goes straight to the electrical sockets, I should not say NO! daw. So I say, “Anika, if you touch that, you will get ouchie. Di ba you don’t want ouchie?”. Something like that =)
NUMBER 6: Why Did You Do That?
In a Babble article called How NOT To Raise Your Toddler my good friend, Mira Jacob phrases it thusly: “Why did you bite that boy? Why did you hit your sister? Why is there spaghetti in your ear? Why am I asking you a question you can’t possibly answer in any way that will make me feel better? Oh yes, because it’s easier than accepting the idea that I am in charge of a tiny lunatic.
Mommy Fleur — Oh.. okay.
NUMBER 7: Wait Until Mom/Dad Gets Home
I know it’s tempting to pass the buck to the other parent after a full day of solo parenting, but postponed discipline keeps your child from connecting the discipline with the original action. As CNN reports, “This familiar parenting cliché is not only another kind of threat, it’s also diluted discipline. To be effective, you need to take care of a situation immediately yourself.”
Mommy Fleur — Shucks. I do this all the time because Anika’s more scared of Alvin kaysa sa akin. Mali pala.
There you go guys! I hope we all learned a thing or two from this article! =)
Blog Source: Mommy Fleur