Aside from teaching our kids the alphabet, numbers, and hundreds of nursery rhymes and stories, an essential trait that we moms need to teach and develop in our children is their confidence, as successfully doing so will let them develop into healthy, happy, and confident individuals. We have read countless tips on how to raise healthy and happy kids, but how do we raise a confident one? Here are 6 ways we moms can cultivate confidence in our kids.
1. Coach, not control. As mums, we can sometimes be controlling with our child, choosing to do things for him so that he would not have a hard time. But remember, doing so will rob him of the opportunity to learn. As they grow up, we should keep in mind that our role is not to control him, but to let him flourish and develop on his own. The best way to do this is to do things WITH him, and not FOR him. Treat every task as a learning opportunity and let him discover how to do things on his own.
2. Let your child be imperfect. Along the lines of letting him do things on their own is to refrain from correcting his work, unless perhaps if the outcome is vital. Constantly improving his work might undermine his confidence and does not allow him to learn for himself.
3. Let your child take on manageable challenges. This does not mean leaving him to handle everything on his own, Instead, “spot” him. Do not take on his problems yourself and instead provide “small” forms of assistance such as demonstrating how to do it or suggesting a strategy, and let him handle it from there. Your support will boost his confidence in the long run and gives him the assurance to try new things on his own in the future. At the same time, you instill in him that help is always available whenever he needs it – which is something he needs to be aware of before he hits adolescence.
4. Encourage your child. And teach self-encouragement as well. The right encouragement can do wonders for anyone, and it’s the same for your child. Providing the right encouragement now will keep him motivated, and also give him that inner voice that will inspire and keep him going for the rest of his life. This inner voice will comfort and nudge him to try again in spite of failures, and drown out that criticizing voice that sometimes comes with disappointment.
5. Always empathize. Remember to empathize with your child when he encounters frustrations. Give him time to deal with or even sulk over his disappointments. Your empathy and unceasing understanding during this time will help him overcome his grief and try again the following day. This develops his resilience.
6. Assure your child that your love for him is unconditional. It is important to let your child know that you will love him even if they fail or make bad decisions. Never let him think that his performance is more important than who he is as a person.