By: Kyle Lasalita
No matter how hard we make an effort, we’ll still forget a thing or two. Not because we don’t care but because just like mothers we are also overwhelmed with joy, excitement and a little bit of fear. Not all Dads will instantly have that parenting instinct, most of us take time to adjust, some even longer than their wife wants them to.
As a Dad myself, I also want other fathers and soon-to-be fathers to know what their wife is expecting from them when the baby is born. Here are some hard truths from mothers who wish their husband knew better:
Diapers Changes Matter
“Ang pinaka ayaw ko lang sa kanya eh during poop time parang diring diri siya maghugas ng pwet ng anak niya nakakasama lang ng loob kasi sa mga aso niya masipag siya maglinis pero sa poop ng anak niya hindi” – Angela
Most Dads I know, myself included has some love-hate relationship with diaper changes. Especially when they’re filled with you-know-what. But, the thing is our wives will appreciate our effort to change diapers even if we don’t know what we’re doing. It helps them have a little break even for a few minutes. Those little naps are a big thing for new mothers.
Put your phone down
“Ang problem ko sakanya ay lagi syang naka cellphone. Pag binabantayan nya si baby habang tulog or pag nakahiga na sa gabi. Mobile legends is life eh” – Diane
I get it, Dads are usually busy working. That’s typical parenting dynamics. But some Dads are practically glued to the screen of their phones. Even if they’re helping out the mom, their mind is someplace else like a video game or an email they forgot to read.
Practice being in the moment because those fleeting moments with your baby isn’t like a saved game that you can load anytime you like. When putting the down the baby for a nap, don’t automatically reach out for your phone. When asked to watch the baby for a while, do as your told and watch the baby.
Make an effort to be helpful
“Was he helpful? Not much nung mga first months kailangan ko pa sabihan na tigil muna ganito para gawin to and ganyan na minsan it leads sa argument kasi stressed na ko tapos sya walang gano ginagawa.” – Christine
Time and again Dads are always reminded to be helpful to their wife but, I still see Dads struggling with it. One reason for this is not because of laziness, but because they’re struggling to know the right thing to do. More than anything else, they’re scared they’ll do something incredibly wrong.
This is the reason why I keep telling newer Dads to do their own research. Ask around for help from other Dads. The diligence you put into knowing what you can do will be rewarded when you see your wife smiling and telling you how good you’re doing (despite all the errors).
Give your wife the same attention
“He neglected me. So baby lang lahat ng attention niya. I had depression. Prenatal and postpartum. Pwede naman na pareho kami ni baby but no. It all changed.” – Riya
Never stop calling your wife sexy and beautiful especially after giving birth, they need that vote of confidence. Some Dads can be extremely excited to care for their baby, and that’s normal. But, the mother of your child is still your wife and partner and always wants to be treated that way.
Don’t just tell them they’re great mothers, show them that you appreciate them. Postpartum depression is real. It’s not something people say just to force Dads to help out. It’s different from one mother to another, and some may experience less of it while some may have extreme cases. Do your part as a Dad and a Husband.
My name is Kyle and I’m a father, a writer, and a struggling entrepreneur. I believe that dads are just as awesome as mothers, only cooler. When you don’t see me changing my son’s diapers, you can see me on my blog – Daddy Set Go.