Moms are a different kind of tough. Our family and friends know it. Our kids definitely know it. But there are times when we doubt it, ourselves.
And the motherhood doubt can creep in when times are hard, when we find ourselves without a partner in this parenting gig. But it is also during such times that moms find the strength within themselves and in their kids to just keep on going.
A single mom with her team
Grace Valdez is a proud single mom to three kids: Rygel Grace, Gelmien, and Jhayrace.
She says that she chose to be a single parent because she’s “prioritizing [her] kids’ future and that they deserve a better environment.” She admits that it’s hard, especially during the early days, but with her ideal team – her kids, kinaya niya lahat.
Working and motherhood
Aside from raising her kids on her own, Grace also works from home as a full-time Virtual Assistant specializing in Graphic Designing, Social Media Management, and SEO. She shares that “nung una, hindi naman work from home ang gusto ko, basta kasama ko lang anak ko sa trabaho, OK na.” She previously worked for a BPO, but things changed when she became a member of Facebook Community FH Moms. She says that the community gave her the idea that moms can earn for their families even while staying at home with their kids. She says, “every time may free time ako, nagbabasa-basa na ako or nanonood-nood [in the community]. Then ina-apply ko ang mga [natutunan ko].”
Grace says that what gets her through the day are her kids, relaxing, and reading motivational posts on Facebook. She says that “lagi akong nagpapasalamat sa ibinigay ng Diyos sa amin.” And that she motivates herself everyday to just move, that “slow progress is better than no progress at all. Sabi nga, nasa tao ang gawa, nasa Diyos ang awa.”
Self-care for single parents
Grace also prioritizes self-care: she ensures that she gets enough sleep and drinks enough water and vitamins everyday. But the most important part of her self-care routine she says, is “magkaroon ng bonding sa mga anak [ko] everyday.”
For other single parents out there or for those who might find themselves in the threshold of being one, Grace emphasizes the need for a “matatag na kalooban.” Saying “magtiwala kayo sa sarili niyo. Doon kayo sa positive side ng bawat situation. Iisipin niyo lagi na kayo ang lakas ng mga anak niyo kaya dapat laban lang. Ituloy-tuloy lang ang nasimulan at makukuha din iyan sa progress at dasal.”
To her kids, Grace shares that “ang pinakamahalagang naibahagi ko [sa mga anak ko] ay ang pag-iwas sa mga toxic na bagay. Hindi lahat ng bagay kailangan pagtuunan ng pansin. Pangalawa, kahit walang nakakakita sa iyo, gawin ang tama. At pangatlo at pinaka-mahalaga, laging pahalagahan at magpasalamat sa blessings na natatanggap maliit man o malaki.”
Grace also hopes that her kids will know how proud and thankful she is for them. Saying, “napaka-swerte ko at kayo ang naging teammates ko para makamit itong lahat. Salamat sa pagtitiis. Forever ko kayong ipagmamalaki. Maraming salamat sa pagiging supportive, responsible, at lovable na mga anak.”