It’s Monday, 14 November 2011. 7am.
The husband dropped me off at McDonald’s two hours before my supposed hearing at a court in Quezon City, so I had time to have breakfast. But instead of me enjoying my happy food…
I’m sulking in one corner, looking like I’d gambled and lost at a casino, all weary and sad because all I could think of was this cutiepatootie I left at home
They call it working-mom-guilt. And this is just one of the many episodes. For me, it is even more difficult because aside from maintaining a day job, I couldn’t even hug and kiss this cute little boy at night =( I have to leave him with my in-laws in Bulacan coz we are still preparing his humble home in Manila. So I get to be with him only four nights in a week.
Aneeeewaaay, I have been reading a lot of momblogs lately in the hope of assuaging myself that really, I am a good mother even if I arrive home with the baby asleep and leave home with him still in deep slumber. But there are days, like today, when depression gets the best of you, and all you can think of is just to leave the corporate world and cuddle with your little one.
Times are difficult but who am I to complain?
1. I have been blessed with a good job. I imagine other mothers who couldn’t even give their kids a decent milk or diaper for lack of financial resources.
2. Besides, I get to practice what I love doing (lying for a living haha!).
3. I can prepare better for my son’s future (this is so cliche it’s giving me the cringe writing it, but really, I need to concoct all possible reasons why I am a good mother, so forgive me.)
4. Most mothers are now working, so if it’s of any consolation, I’m not in here alone.
5. I stopped at number five, because I couldn’t think of any.
So, of the thousand reasons why a mother should be there beside his child at every milestone, doing what she should really be doing in the first place, I am here in a fast food early in the morning, browsing up my case files and preparing to argue for a frivolous motion. And I can only come up with five measly reasons why I’m here instead of home.
Going back, it’s a little past eight when I gathered my case files. I had to head to the court lest I be cited for contempt.
Walk. Cab. Walk. Check the court calendar.
Where was my case title? Apparently, somebody’s not doing her homework. My case was scheduled for hearing at 1:30PM, not 8:00 AM. Well, hello Monday. I should have just stayed at home a little longer. 🙁
How do you manage your working-mom-guilt? I’d be delighted to know, so I wouldn’t stop at number five =) Drop me a line. I’d be glad to hear from you.
Blog Source: Legally Mama
