It’s always said how important they are but just how often do we ask Singapore’s mums what they really think, feel and fear today? MumCentre sought some honest answers. Join in the discussion on the mumcentre.com website today to post your opinions.
Singapore positions the family as the basic building block of its society the first line of support in its social safety net. Yet the annual fertility rate is dropping and this building block is shrinking. In 1999, seven percent of Singapore’s population were elderly, by 2030; around 20 percent will be over 65. The conclusion: Singapore needs more babies.
MumCentre has sparked off a constructive dialogue about motherhood today. We interviewed five ordinary working mums in Singapore, four Singaporeans and an expatriate, who agreed to share their joys and frustrations at being a mum in the Lion City. We’ve changed their names to ensure privacy.
We wanted to hear some different opinions on the aspects of parenting. They say that wisdom comes from the mouths of babes – well, you should speak to their mothers.
The Juggle
We asked mums to identify the most difficult aspect of being a mother today in Singapore. Overwhelmingly, the issue of “juggling” work with raising children was top of the list.
Valerie is a mother of two, and like most of our mums, she struggles to find enough hours in the day. “Being a working mother is difficult juggling all the hats a mother has to wear.”
Janet, an expatriate raising her children in Singapore, agrees. “There aren’t many employers that believe in providing a conducive environment for working mothers such as allowing flexi-work and mobility,” she says.
Sindy is currently expecting her first child, and says few Singapore companies in Singapore have pro-family policies like in Sweden or United Kingdom.
” I have a friend in the UK who works for BA and she is able to take a year off after the birth of her baby and be paid half a year’s salary during that period.”
Not So Difficult
But some think motherhood here is still easy. Mei, who despite two children still continues to work, feels lucky to be in Singapore. “I don’t know what makes being a mum in Singapore harder than anywhere else in the world. What bothers me most is that everyone complains about how difficult it is to be a parent in Singapore.” The key, she feels, is balance.
“Personally I have no big issues with education or money, even though we married young and never really had much. I just live within my means, so my kids go to PAP childcare, and we don’t travel much.”
Another positive point is the ability to afford domestic help in Singapore; plus the safe physical environment in Singapore, and the high standard of Singapore education, especially in maths. Others identified the typically close-knit Asian family network as a god-send.
Janet, a mother working in the IT industry, agrees. “The biggest benefit is the family network that I have to reinforce positive behaviour that I try to teach them at home.” She puts the positives of parenting simply. “The best thing is having those cute lovely pairs of eyes, looking at you innocently and thinking you’re the best person in the world.”
Kids Under Pressure?
Most mothers were concerned with heavy academic pressure on children too early in life. Valerie worries about the stifling her children’s creativity. “My biggest concern is their early loss of childhood, and losing their joy and wonder of learning. A case in point, my daughter when she was four or five during a field trip brought along her ‘imaginary’ friends. At one point she involved her teacher in her conversations with them. She was promptly shut up.”
Sindy sites “too much emphasis on academia and not enough on play, self-development and sports. An alarming number of children here are myopic at a very young age and it could be because they are spending too much time indoors burying their faces in books or in front of the computer.”
Expatriate mother Janet chose an international school. “While superb academically, the rigid education system in Singapore has resulted in us forking out tens of thousands of dollars for international schools. I want my kids to be well-balanced with varying interest in arts, sports and education.”
Mei feels much of this pressure comes from mothers themselves. “Parents complain about the system but they’re the ones who place the most pressure on their children. Of course I hope that my kids will be successful in school and their careers, but I won’t be at all ashamed if they’re not.”
“My biggest challenge is to inculcate a sense of confidence and contentment in them, so they’ll be proud of themselves as long as they’re good, honest people.”
