Feeling Chatty

Parents like you know your child best. Some children love to talk and boy do they talk every chance they get! Others, meanwhile, take a bit more time to warm up to others and tend to be very quiet unless nudged to join a conversation. 

But by age three and a half, most children will have been overcome their initial shyness. They will have started engaging more through conversations with others, making friends along the way. These conversations in fact provide great insight into your child’s thoughts and feelings, which is why it is every parent’s duty to encourage verbal expression in their kids.

How exactly could you encourage this behavior? Give your children undivided attention during conversations.  Once you follow their lead, they will feel more encouraged to talk as well as ask more questions. They may start bombarding you with the whys, hows, and whats—which are in fact great opportunities to know more about how your kids think.

Before answering their questions directly, provide partial information and follow this up with another question. “What do you think about that?” or “Why do you think is that so?” These leading questions will not just prompt your kids to think deeper; they will also learn to listen more closely too. In short, the more the intelligent exchange between the two of you, the better the conversation becomes. If you listen as much as your child does, and share your opinions as often as he or she does, you’re creating a healthy sharing of knowledge that will serve as a great communication model.

You can further encourage this by having a yes-and-no question-answer game with your child. The rule is simple: your child should be able to respond with a yes or a no and nothing else. As your child answers your questions, observe the gestures they make: do they nod or shake their head as well? Are there any changes in their facial expression too? Do these facial expressions match their answer? Take turns in answering and asking questions. Every once in a while, ask a rather silly question to gauge their reaction.  You can say, “Does a kitty cat drink milk with a straw?”  Your child will most probably enjoy thinking of his or her very own silly questions and watching your reaction as well!

When are the best times to have these games and conversations? Meal times, during car rides, and right before bedtime are ideal.  In my family, our meal times are always laced with conversations. We talk about everything—from what everyone did that day to what our future plans are.  Bedtime is also ideal to look back at the day’s activities and recount its most enjoyable moments. You will find that ending the day with a light-hearted chat with your child could be therapeutic for both of you.

You can also turn long drives into interesting chitchat episodes with your companions. This practice also tends to make the trip more bearable, if not quicker. One time, we had a 6-hour car ride ahead of us, and my son who was then three years old ended up talking the entire time! He had something to say about everything we had passed by as we drove. We still laugh about it today because we are still amazed that he found so much to talk about for such a long period!