Give Me Fair Warning, Then I

By understanding the development of your four year old you can shift your attention on seeing the world through her eyes.  Take a deep breath, slow down, toss away other things on your mind and enjoy the moment.  Four year olds don’t have a sense of urgency like adults do.  They are in a rush to do something new, however that’s not the same type of hurry adults feel.  This is a rapid, fast-paced world we live in, instead by planning ahead and allowing enough time to complete tasks your child (and you) can find comfort in the daily routines.  Also, giving your child a fair warning as to when an activity will be ending, will be important for successful transitions. 

Transitions (moving from one activity to the next) are important in early childhood.  They happen multiple times throughout the day.  Giving children a heads-up will assist them in anticipating events and understanding their routine.  When a routine is in place, your child will feel that she has a sense of control over the environment.  Nobody likes to be suddenly yanked from an activity and told it is time to go.  Imagine that you just got out of the shower and you are getting ready for the day.  You’re in the middle of your bathroom routine and suddenly you are pulled out the bathroom and told it’s time to go….now!  How would you feel?  I for one would be frustrated, embarrassed because my hair wasn’t done quite right yet, or even angry because I didn’t want to go yet.  That is how children feel when they don’t have a fair warning.  As you work with your child keep in mind that children at this age thrive on routine and repetition.  Give advance notice of changes in the routine and tell her ahead of time that she will need to clean up her toys and have a snack.

For instance, let’s say you are playing at the park and it’s almost time to leave.  Tell your child she can have 3 more turns on the slide and then it will be time to go.  When her three turns are over you can give her a two-step command such as, “Go grab our ball and meet me at the big tree.“  You can practice these commands at home throughout the day.  Eventually, she will be able to follow more complex steps. For the meantime,  keep your instructions simple and watch her confidence shine.