Great Role Models Help Teach Social Skills

In our society it’s a given that we should learn how to function successfully in a group setting no matter how old we are.  These social skills, however, don’t come naturally.  Social skills are learned best when children are exposed to kind and caring role models who guide them through the process.  If your child is going to her first story time at the library she will not know what to expect.  But if you sit with her in your lap and explain what is going on she will gain an understanding of appropriate behavior for a story time.  For example, you may say, “we are going to sit quietly while Ms. Mary reads us the story.  Look at how the boy in the train shirt is sitting quietly with his mom.  He’s ready for the story to begin.  When we sit quiet we will all be able to hear the story.”  Your child is taking it all in.  She’s looking around at the other children.  She’s even noticing what not to do when she sees another child misbehave.  It’s a visual learning environment that she will thrive in.  When you get home from story time review what you did and saw then next time she will be fully ready for the experience.

There are many different contexts that following directions can fall into.  Your child may need to follow directions given by an adult or child that pertains only to her (please bring me the book) or a direction intended for the entire group (please line up at the door).  She may have to reiterate the directions to a friend who needs help.  Quite possibly she may need to follow directions to play a group game or respond to the actions in a song or movement activity.  Another aspect your child needs to understand is whether or not these directions are options or if they need to be done. 

As you are working with your child make sure that she is looking at you when you are giving directions.  Your directions must be specific and clear.  Tell her what to do, not what not to do.  Start simply with three to four part directions and praise her  for accomplishing something. Stay consistent and don’t change the rules mid-way through, as this will confuse your youngster.  For example if your child needs to clean up her crayons before getting a napkin for snack don’t change the rules because you are in a hurry or your child may get the wrong message that you don’t always mean what you say.  You can sharpen your child’s listening sills by playing easy games such as having her listen to a sound that you make and having her guess where it came from (shaking a set or keys or hitting a spoon against a pot).  You can also play a pointing game where you name an item in the room and have your child point to it.  When she finds it give her a two-step direction to do with the object.  For example, I see a blue block.  Point to the blue block.  Pick up the block, jump three times and put it on the table.  Take turns in giving directions to each other.  As your child becomes increasingly confident in her ability to follow directions increase the number of steps by challenging her to do more.