Purposeful Praise
We all want our children to grow up as happy, successful, confident and likable adults. Helping to give them a foundation of a positive view of themselves as well as a strong knowledge of ethics will guide then towards that goal. There are specific ways in which we, as parents, can help to praise our children purposely which will result in their ability to behave appropriately while building their self esteem and confidence at the same time!
- Praise children specifically for the task that they tried, worked hard on or completed. If your toddler built a tower of blocks that then collapsed before it was finished, saying something like, “You worked so hard on that and I am so proud of you for that! Lets try again and see if we can build it higher!” will boost his self-confidence.
- If you are praising a childs choices such as sharing, be specific about what you are praising her for. For example, saying something like, “What a good sharer you are” as opposed to,instead of “What a good girl you are” will give her a specific understanding of the choice she made and it wont attach being a “good sharer” to being a “good girl.” Although the two are related, we dont want her to think that if she doesnt share, she is therefore a “bad girl.”
When reprimanding a child, you can express your dissatisfaction at her “bad choice” but never relate her choice to her as a person. For example, when I was a young girl, I hit my friend over the head with a plastic hammer. My mother reprimanded me for making such a poor choice, but she never made me feel like I was a bad girl. Toddlers are going to make lots of bad choices, it . This is a natural part of growing up and learning. By associating your response to their choice as opposed to who they are, you are specifically teaching them how to reflect upon their actions while keeping their self-esteem and confidence in tact.
