A Bouncy Ball Called Resilience

One of the hardest lessons to learn in life – even for adults – is that what matters more in life is not what happens to us, but how we react to what happens in our lives. You can prepare your child from an early age to react to obstacles in a positive way that will foster personal growth and not stunt it. Your child will encounter difficult situations as he goes to daycare, interact with friends and family members or even at home. These situations are opportunities to encourage resilience and should be harnessed instead of avoided. Here are some ways to use obstacles or hardships to foster resilience in toddlers:

• When your toddler falls or hurts himself, don’t react until he has shown a reaction, except of course if he is obviously hurt and unable to cry. If left for a few seconds, your toddler might be able to dismiss the pain and continue without a big upheaval. If you react adversely however, he might mirror your reaction and react in a way that isn’t warranted by his pain level.
• Surround your child with protective factors that can foster resilience in children. These include: Demonstrating love and affection in a physical and verbal way, allowing a child to explore within safe boundaries, acknowledging a child’s feelings and modeling confidence and optimism.
• In childhood more things are caught than taught. Your child closely watches your reaction to adversity and stress, he will most likely imitate you. If you easily crumble during stressful times, then try your best to build your own resilience. Your child will benefit from seeing how you improve your own skills.
• You can foster resilience in your toddler by allowing him to do things for himself even if it takes longer and the result isn’t as satisfying as when you would have done it for him. If he insists on dressing himself or carrying his own plate, let him – even if his pants are the wrong way round and he messes a bit on the floor. The act of being self-sufficient builds his self-confidence and makes him believe in his own abilities.                                                                                                                                        

In a perfect world parents would be able to shield their children from all difficulties and provide them with a truly carefree childhood, but in reality the hard side on life creeps up on all even before we are able to speak in full sentences. Thankfully, a loving home and caring parents can go a long way in making a child bounce back from whatever difficulties he may experience in life.