Best Friends Forever

During the next few months your child will show more and more interest in children of his own age group as he learns how to play cooperatively with them. Gradually his play skills will progress from being self focused to including others in the games he is playing. The extent to which he reaches out to other children will depend on his personality as some children are naturally more shy and reserved and may need more time or a gentle nudge to reach out to other children in their age group. The important thing is to provide opportunities for him to interact with children in more or less his own age group, not only in a group setting like at daycare, but also individually.

Some children with vivid imaginations may even have an imaginary friend in this age group. This is a perfectly natural occurrence. You should treat this as a sign that your child is forming deep attachments. The first bond he formed was with his parents and he is now learning how to multiply that affection and care for others too whether they are imaginary or real friends.

At this time, your toddler’s ability to put himself in someone else’s shoes is still developing. He might not be able to understand his friend’s feeling when he gets hurt or his favorite toy breaks. Now is a good time to model lots of empathetic behavior and point your child’s attention to it. If his friend stubs his toe on a chair – comment on it to help your toddler to imagine what it feels like to have a sore toe.

For most children, making friends is a natural process. If you notice that your child is consistently aggressive or withdrawn in the company of other children, you may want to seek a professional opinion on your child’s social development. Children are sometimes aggressive when they are tired or over excited while most children are occasionally shy in new situations, but if you notice a persistent pattern your child might be trying to tell you something through his behavior and a professional person can help you to decipher his clues.