Left Behind – How to Not Go Crazy When Your Kids are Away from You

I have never been apart from my children for more than 48 hours. As I am writing this, they are on their way with my sister to the Philippines while I am left behind in snowy Utah.

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By: Diane Mendoza-Balatbat

I have never been apart from my children for more than 48 hours. As I am writing this, they are on their way with my sister to the Philippines while I am left behind in snowy Utah. I am borderline depressed because I myself haven’t been home for more than 10 years, but I think it’s primarily because I miss my children already.

You might ask me how I managed to not go crazy with all my feelings and getting everything ready in time for them to leave and admittedly, I did. Kidding aside, I do have a few tips.

1. Set the schedule. Start by talking to the children’s school and teachers to see if there are any major tests/exams that will fall on the dates that you plan on leaving. Most schools allow a 10-day leave of absence and teachers send a homework packet for the children to work on during vacation. Check for flights at least 6 months in advance. Not only will prices be more flexible but also the availability of flight times. Get the necessary documents (passport, visa) well ahead of the scheduled departure or if they already have their passports, ensure that the validity is 6-months or more before the set vacation dates or the airlines will not allow you to leave.

2. Write down a list of what to bring/buy. Sometimes I run a list in my head and by the time I get to the store, I have already forgotten about 10 items on my list. This list will also come in handy when it is time to pack.

3. Know how much you can bring and pack early. Most international flights allow 2 bags of 50-pounds each and 1 carry-on bag per passenger. You can start by labeling the pasalubong and the bilin. It is also easier when you segregate the personal belongings (i.e. clothes, toiletries, etc.) from the pasalubong.

4. Talk to your kids. They need to know the dangers of talking and going with strangers and innocently wandering alone. I think it is not exaggerated to tell them the worst case scenario especially since child abduction and trafficking is very real. They will get annoyed when you’re in repeat mode with this but they will remember to behave appropriately.

5. Make sure they can communicate with you. Teach them how to use various apps such as Skype/Viber etc. This will help ease their anxiety knowing that they can call you anytime when they need to talk to you.

6. Be excited for them. Let them know that you will miss them while they are away. Tell them to go have fun. It helped my kids to not feel guilty about leaving me behind knowing that I am happy they finally get to see their relatives in the Philippines.

7. Finally, breathe and pray. I have to trust my sister to keep them safe while traveling. I have to trust that my family will take care of them there. Sometimes you just have to let go and trust others to care for them for you. So stay calm and enjoy a bit, the kids will be back soon!

 

Diane Mendoza Balatbat is a wife and stay-at-home mom of 3 kids and 2 dogs. She is originally from Cebu, Philippines but is currently living in Utah with her family. She competes with her kids on Just Dance and annoys her husband when she intentionally murders Adele’s Rolling in the Deep at the top of her lungs.

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