Shy Child
Shyness is not a disorder, but rather a personality temperament that up to 15% of children and adults share. In many cases, being shy does not affect development and growth, but in some, it can hinder personal development. Before three years of age, many children display a certain degree of shyness as part of their normal development, particularly as they learn to distinguish themselves from their parents and all the others around them. Shy children continue being shy after this normal phase has passed.
Shy children have the following characteristics:
- They cling to their parents in public and social situations;
- They are reluctant to make new friends;
- They prefer to observe others at play rather than join them;
- They like solitary games;
- They take quite a while to warm up to people;
- They may find it difficult to express their feelings.
If your child is shy, you can try the following strategies to make it easier for him or her to cope:
- It may be easier for your child to express his or her feelings through drawing, or else by playing with action figures or dolls, instead of talking about it. In such cases, draw with your kids or sit with them as they play with their miniature dolls.
- Prepare your child well in advance for social situations. If he or she is willing, try to engage in role-play where your child has to greet new people or join a game other children are playing.
- Never force your child to participate, but rather give him or her the freedom to observe if he or she wants to.
Remember that very often, shy children have gifts in other areas that may not be immediately apparent. They may be imaginative, creative, or gifted with an enhanced ability to learn through observation. If you are concerned that your child’s shy nature is impeding his or her personal growth, seek advice from your health care provider, who can refer you to a developmental psychologist to provide some guidance on how to further engage your child socially.
