I Can Do It Myself! Let Me Try!

Your four year old child probably wants to do everything herself these days, right?  She is not “little” anymore, in fact she wants to be referred to as “big” every chance she gets.  Her motor development has improved rapidly making it easier to complete tasks and giving her the confidence to take on new challenges.  As you encourage self-sufficient behaviors your child develops a sense of autonomy.  She is now more comfortable handling things on her own.  Let’s think about personal skills in the bathroom.  Your preschooler probably wants to wash her hands by herself, so try putting a stool out so she can reach the sink.  Lay a towel nearby so she doesn’t have to ask for help in reaching it.  These simple accommodations help her develop autonomy.  By doing things like this, your little one is now able to take initiative, a fabulous self-help skill!

When your child is given opportunities to take initiative and explore the environment, she is developing her self-confidence.  Imagine for a minute sitting at the breakfast table.  Your child has asked you for a bowl of cereal with milk, but, she wants to do it herself.  You may be thinking,  “But the milk, oh, she might spill the milk when she pours it in the bowl.  Or she might pour too much and the bowl will overflow.  Or it would be easier if I just did it for her.”  All those thoughts are perfectly normal for, yes, she might spill but then, together, you will clean it up.  Yes, she might pour too much but then she will pour less next time.  And yes, I’m sure you could do it for her without making a mess, but it’s time to let your child try to independently fix herself a bowl of cereal.  When your child takes that initiative and succeeds, her confidence grows.  When things don’t go as planned and she gets scolded, she develops guilt which could lead to a sense of frustration.  

As your child tries to prepare a own bowl of cereal, expect some spills.  Practice makes perfect, however, and be sure to take advantage of this teachable moment by demonstrating how much cereal to pour in the bowl.  Give tips on how to hold the bowl with one hand so it stays in place as she pours the cereal out of the box with the other hand.  It might be easier to find a small pitcher that you can transfer the milk into to make the pouring easier for your child.   These simple accommodations will help your preschooler succeed as independence increases.  As you encourage and support her efforts you are telling her it’s ok to undertake new thing as she develops her sense of self.