Natural creatures of relationship, women have the tendency to gravitate towards others. It is unheard of for a man to be able to say to another man, “hey, would you like to grab a cup of coffee?” and not get a raised eyebrow as a response. For most women however, asking another woman out on a coffee date is completely acceptable. Woman naturally seek out communities of like-minded individuals, finding support and strength in numbers.
The same goes for moms. When Katherine Gonzalez was pregnant with her first child, she was happy to have two of her girl friends to share the experience with. Their delivery dates were scheduled within the same 3 months, and they eventually all delivered their first borns within less than a month of each other, one after the other. The three new moms formed a group on a messaging app, and found themselves in constant communication from the beginning of their pregnancies up until their babies’ first birthdays. It was comforting to know that they had an easily accessible group of fellow moms they knew they could trust to openly share their concerns about breastfeeding, choosing the right pediatricians, and even hiring (and keeping) their yayas.
This mom group was a safe haven for these three clueless and very anxious new mamas who, on their most difficult days, simply wanted to be heard, and accepted and loved by those who they knew could really understand them. It was within this friendship that their “sorrows were divided, and their joys were multiplied,” building a solid foundation that they knew would last a lifetime.
So if you’re a new mama (whether pregnant, or nursing a newborn) that’s feeling lonely, overwhelmed, or even just REALLY TIRED, don’t be afraid to send that acquaintance on facebook a message. If she just posted a photo of her first ultrasound, or a photo of her first baby, she’s probably just as stressed about the entire thing as you, and would appreciate a the reassurance that everything is going to be ok–especially if this comes in the form of a new friend.
