By Patricia Gonzalez
If there’s one adjustment that new moms need better preparation for, it is welcoming a caregiver into their homes and developing a relationship of mutual respect and trust. Times have changed, and the access to information and the flexibility with which ANY individual can switch jobs has caused its fair share of headaches for employers of large corporations and employers of domestic help. This has been found to be one of the top sources of stress for new mamas who are struggling to balance work and family life, as well as find a sense of permanence in the functioning of their homes. “The hardest thing about marriage and family life is not my husband, nor my children. It is learning how to be a fair employer without compromising the safety of my children, and the standards I have set for my own home.”
We hear you, mama. While there is a lot of advice that covers the necessary safety precautions one should take before hiring help (and this is extremely important!), perhaps the conversation should shift towards learning how to create a culture of respect and love among all members of the household.
We interviewed a few moms who have found success in keeping “yayas” they can trust, and they were happy to share their advice. “Treat them like family,” tells interior designer and mama of 2 under 2 Rina Santos. Coming from a society that has very clear class distinctions, this not typical behavior. “I bring them small gifts when I come home from being out all day, or give them allowance for a day out at the carnival…gestures like this shows them that I’m thinking about them too.”
“Every payday, I take the time to check in on my staff. I ask them about their families, if they have any concerns, and just try to show them that I am interested,” says mother of 8, Maria Ignacio. These bi-monthly chats open the lines of communication between the employer and the employee, building a mutual trust. Most domestic helpers are afraid to express their concerns and these few minutes of candid conversation provides them with the opportunity to do just that, allowing the employer to address their concerns more swiftly.
“Instead of micromanaging, educate,” emphasized Ana Reyes, mama of 4. “It is so important to meet our yayas where they are at.” New moms cannot expect their helpers to learn at the pace they are accustomed to, and must consciously practice patience with them. Educating our helpers is a wonderful way of indirectly educating our children. Especially in the case of working moms, who spend most of the day out of the home. “Our children learn by example, and if we teach our helpers how to foster good habits, manners, and perform quality work, our children will learn that from them too.”
While these are all great pieces of advice, perhaps the first step is to recognize how crucial our helpers are the happiness of our homes. It is because of them that we are free to work, spend time with our children, and even enjoy leisurely activities on weekends. So let’s treat them with love and respect, and give them the value they deserve.
Patricia Gonzalez is MOMCENTER’s Editor. She has two adorable daughters–ages 1 and 2, and is married to a man who inspires her to be a better woman everyday.
Beyond her work as a writer, she also an entrepreneur and manages the PR, marketing, and social media of two of her own local clothing brands, @coralswimwearph and @pearlclothingph.
She is a woman on a mission, and believes that motherhood is not limiting, but empowering. Join her on her journey by following her on instagram at @patriciaogonzalez.
