By Deanne Banares Dimacali
I remember the day our shiny, new oven arrived. As my husband turned the knob to get the heat going, I stood behind him, peeking out from his side like a child. It was so obvious what I was going through: I was afraid. Why? Because having that oven in the kitchen meant that I had no more excuses to not cook. And for an inexperienced and undomesticated woman like me, that was downright intimidating.
My childhood home was always filled with good food. In the neighborhood, all the kids would play in our house because it meant a stellar spread during snack time. My siblings and I owe that joy to our mother who was so skilled at cooking. But, for some reason, I never crossed to the other side of the kitchen. I always ate but never made, always admired but never cooked. I didn’t want to do any of the work, no thank you.
I carried that with me all throughout my life even when I studied abroad for a while. I still chose to eat out instead of attempting to make dinner for myself. So when I finally said yes to married life, to running my own household, people would ask me, ‘Do you even know how to cook?’ With regret and fear, I would shake my head. ‘Maybe I’ll learn how…’ I would reply in a timid, uncertain voice.
But to my own surprise, learned I did. The learning that was born out of necessity.
My husband and I were tired of eating out, missing the cooked meals of our childhood homes. We were spending too much on restaurants and not using our stove and kitchen tools enough. We couldn’t live on delivery forever. So while my husband toiled in the office, I knew I had to do my part and move in the kitchen. I did everything I could to whip up a meal: buy cookbooks, watch YouTube videos, ask advice from my mom, and most importantly, just did it. Slowly but surely, I learned, made mistakes, practiced simple dishes over and over till I got it right.
And then I fell in love. I continued to learn not out of necessity anymore but out of pure interest and passion for this edible craft.
I was fascinated with the science behind cooking and baking, curious about the relationships of different ingredients, and amazed at how cooking is really making something out of nothing. Most of all, I loved making my husband (and later on, family and friends) happy with the craft of my own hands.
My fear of the kitchen was very real; it was so thick you could cut it with a knife. But the saying has proven to be true: necessity pushes you out of your comfort zone. And with time and patience, that unknown zone actually becomes a place of joy, excitement, and growth. Who knew an undomesticated woman like me would actually find solace in the kitchen?
So now here I am. I’m not standing behind my husband anymore, afraid of taking on culinary adventures. I’m proudly wearing an apron, stirring the sauce in the pot, baking pastries in the oven. All I needed was the courage to try… and look where that small step has led me. I’m now ready and beyond excited to give my future children the same joy that my mother gave me when I was young: the joy of homemade meals spread across the dining table, fresh from the kitchen, and made with love.
Deanne Bañares-Dimacali is a young housewife, soon-to-be-mom, and dedicated writer. Hoping to create a more thoughtful and storied life, she pens her day-to-day musings on marriage, pregnancy, and womanhood on her blog www.classymusings.com.