By: Anna Katrina Bolivar
I have always wanted to be a fulltime mother. When my husband and I got married, I was employed in a high-paying corporate organization. More than half of our family’s income came from my payroll. A year into our marriage, we were blessed with our first child. In order to take care of our baby girl, I resigned from work with the blessing of my husband. Our family’s monthly income was cut down in half.
As for my husband, that meant he had to work hard to provide for us. During those times, the Lord remained faithful to His promise that He will never abandon nor forsake His children. My husband was promoted and his compensation was increased accordingly. The Lord sustained us financially.
Although money is not a problem for the family, it was for ME. It was not easy adjusting from being an employee who works for eight hours a day and receives a monthly paycheck to being a full-time mom who works for more than eight hours a day, is sleep deprived, has a long list of things to do, and receives nothing in return. I was longing for reward, for time-off, for a me-time to get myself whatever I want, and most importantly, I was longing for something that I can claim as my contribution to the family’s budget.
I experienced depression because I felt like I am doing nothing for the family. I felt helpless because I no longer have purchasing power. I cannot buy toys and clothes instantly for my little girl. I pitied myself for not being able to acquire things for the family and the house.
With prayers, self-motivation, and humility, I began to realize that motherhood is really about sacrifice. More than material things, it is our labor of love that is important. We might not be able to bring in money for the family or buy toys or clothes for our babies, but we do ensure that food is ready during mealtimes, that they have neat clothes to wear, and that their love tank is always full.
In my two years of being a full-time mom, there are two important things that I learned.
1. Humility: I learned to humble myself to my husband. As our wedding gospel stated, I have to submit to him as the church submits to the Lord. I have to respect his decisions not just because he is the breadwinner of the family, but also because he is the head of the family.
2. Trust: I learned that we just have to put our complete trust in the Lord and He will be faithful to His promises. We should not be too anxious and worry about a lot of things because He is in control. Also, I realized that trusting my husband also lessened my anxiousness. I trust that he will prioritize us over anything or anyone and that he will love me regardless of my shortcomings.
Anna Katrina Bolivar is a 32-year old first time mom to an 18 months old baby girl. She’s a stay-at-home, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and cosleeping mom. Despite all the challenges of a stay-at-home mom, she always goes to sleep with a heart that is overflowing with love for the Lord, her husband, and their precious little girl.