It is often quite easy for parents to get swamped with a lot of things in the midst of raising their children. After all, it’s very likely that you might be holding down a full-time job, which is stressful and takes a lot of your time. Then there always seems to be an endless list of household chores which parents need to do as well. For a single parent, the worries usually increase dauntingly. That is completely natural, and these are things that many parents actually can relate to. However, in the course of bringing up your kids, you might be unconsciously saying things to them that are more harmful than beneficial. For instance, “don’t” may already be instilled in your vocabulary ever since your child took his first steps as a toddler, but it’s advisable to refrain from saying it if you can. Here are a couple of reasons why parents should avoid saying “don’t:”
It creates a negative feeling
How would you feel if you thought of an idea, and your spouse or close friend would say “don’t” or “no” even before your finish your sentence? Of course you won’t like it, and what’s more, you’ll feel offended. But parents unconsciously say such things to their children in an attempt to control their behavior or change an attitude they don’t like. Saying “don’t,” especially if you do so harshly, hurts your child more than you know, and it creates a negative feeling in them. If parents need to get a point across, they can do so in a bit more positive way. And just as importantly, you should let your child explain his side first, before rendering your opinion on the matter.
It eventually leads your child to ignore what you say
If you’re a single parent, it’s usually up to you to discipline your children. Combined with a host of other major responsibilities, there may be times when you find yourself losing your patience and just shouting “don’t” to stop your kids from doing something that doesn’t meet your approval. You have to take note too, that if parents keep on saying “don’t” it will gradually lose the domineering effect it has on the kids – and they’ll learn to ignore it. You can try to be more diplomatic and considerate; your children are bound to listen to you better that way.
It goes without saying that a lot of the things parents do are triggered by their concern for their kids. If you inject positive notes to your words instead of habitually saying “don’t” to your kids, you’ll be able to foster a better relationship between you.
